Blood. Sweat. Tears. Malted hops. Lots and lots of books. These are the makings for a Portland Madness championship for…
We’re different here in Portland. As Portland people, we’re fiercely independent, quirky, outdoorsy, mossbacks,…
Founder + CEO
I was asked recently for my favorite marketing moment of 2013.
The new focus on deep engagement with your customers is beautiful…
Friends, word pundits, and industry professionals: eROI would like to invite you to play our latest, greatest, Pinterest…
We have a hunger to explore, learn and improve at every turn. If you are here to smash records and destroy the ordinary then let’s do lunch...
Where will you go?
You’re interested in the ROI, the reward at the end of a long and snouty quest. You’ll live a long and informed life for always sniffing under each and every rock. You are patient and a little chubby, and will enthusiastically dig through any pile to find the morsels buried within. Return on your Investment is important, you will go far if you continue to seek the big reward. The pig is wise and tasty; continue to ask the right questions for the big return—otherwise you may become bacon. Pigs have an excellent sense of smell, able to root out the perfect answer. Stay curious my friend. The road to success is paved by bacon. Eat me. A penny lost is a penny gained (if you lost it in my belly). Be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.
The beckoning cat brings good fortune to its owner. You will find great rewards in life or choke on the hairballs, you have a fifty-fifty chance. To some, the Neko looks to be waving, but we prefer high-fiving! You will have great success in patty-cake from here on out. It is argued that the raised paw either protects or brings much wealth. Depending on your belief, you may acquire money or protect the thirty-three cents in your pocket. You decide. The higher that Neko’s paw is raised, the higher the luck. For you, we hope the paw is raised ten feet, which is a lot of luck or a really big cat. Possibly both. Meowwww. [If you could only speak cat, you’d now know the meaning of life]. Lucky cat says: today will probably be a huge improvement over yesterday. You’re welcome. The cat will bring you good fortune if you bring the cat lasagna. Just ask Jon Arbuckle. Neko doesn’t know the meaning of "can’t." This is because cats have a poor grasp on what contractions mean.
Mice are quiet, look and listen, but do not talk if you want the cheese. The mouse, while small and quiet, scares the large and powerful elephant… there has to be more to this The mouse is courageous and cunning, like you, but beware of the treat in the middle of nowhere, for it may very well be too good to be true. Mice can become restless and often take on more than they can handle. Do not hesitate to ask for help, if needed. The early mouse gets the cheese. All that bird/worm stuff is total BS. Avoid the Soup de Jour. It’s just leftover ingredients they didn’t sell yesterday mixed in a strange broth.
The owl is wise and cunning which only stands to reason that you must stay current on your facts or become extinct. The owl was once seen as evil and now is Harry Potter’s sidekick. Reinvent yourself this year and you shall find prosperity. The owl has large eyes, used usually to spot their prey—a cautionary tale to stay ever present or be eaten, swallowed, and coughed back up later. Trust in the owl. Especially those wearing spectacles and a graduation cap. If it weren’t for the owl, you’d still be asking about the quantity of licks to the Tootsie Pop center. Show some respect. In business, it’s all about "whoo" you know. Get it…? Because owls say… nevermind…